30 Life Lessons I've Learned in 30 Years

 reading time: 9 min

I am about to turn 31 next month, so this is my last chance to do a "30 life lessons I've learned in 30 years" post 😜 This isn't so much about joining that trend, but rather this year, 2022, has brought a lot of inner changes and beautiful developments for me, so it feels natural to share some of my insights since I turned 30.

This year I took a 3 week long money mindset course, I read Louise Hay's book "You Can Heal Your Life", and I also started inner child healing with a therapist. All of that among other things essentially transformed my life in subtle, but noticeable ways.

Here are 30 things I learned in my time on this planet for the past 30 years:

1. Shine your light! Don't dim your own beautiful powerful light for others. In an abundance course earlier this year I heard the wonderful sentence: "People that are intimidated by you shining brightly, are welcome to get themselves a pair of sunglasses!"

2. Create more than you consume. Or honestly, just consume less. It can never be as fulfilling as creating something, whether that's baking (challah 😍), drawing, writing, doing pottery, gardening, or whatever makes you happy. I still love reading a good book though!

3. Invest in yourself. Be that in monetary form, such as for workshops, coachings, or therapy, or in the form of stocking up on beautiful self-confidence boosting clothes, drawing yourself a relaxing hot bath every once in a while, or buying yourself a bouquet of flowers just because.
4. I'd rather spend my money on few high-quality things that I love instead of a lot of mediocre things (crystals, decor, clothes etc.). Less really is more in many ways. I want everything I own to be my favourite things.
5. Surround yourself with people that inspire and support you. Don't be afraid to say no to friendships you aren't vibing even though it may make you feel lonely right now. Don't settle for less. Trust that you will find your tribe – or your tribe will find you. (And it can only do that if you are you!! So don't hide yourself, or pretend to be someone you're not.)
6. Get familiar with finances. Know about your own financial situation, and also get comfortable and confident with how finances work in general. If you are looking for a place to start, I recommend Sorelle Amore's finance channel.

7. No more mindless brutal / depressing / upsetting movies and series for me. Instead, the content I consume is inspiring, uplifting, or at least entertaining in a positive way. (I'll still watch a thriller every once and again if it's done in a great way, like the Spanish mystery thriller "The Invisible Guest" that I watched twice this year and highly recommend because it's so well done – but I am way more mindful about what I watch.)

8. Don't pretend to love what everyone else seems to like. (Or in the words of Emma Watson: "Don't feel stupid if you don't like what everyone else pretends to love.") Be true to yourself, even if it's hard. Even if you feel like an outsider – if you can bear it.

9. You are not "different".
You are your individual and unique you, but you are also like everybody else. You are human. You struggle with human problems like everybody else. Don't alienate yourself, making yourself feel wrong or like nobody will understand you. Not everybody is the same and shares the same interests and worries, but there are always those who do. If you feel like an outsider, it's probably because you're not surrounding yourself with like-minded people.

(And again: You can only find like-minded people if you follow your passions and open up about them, instead of pretending otherwise.)
10. Life cannot be planned. It cannot be controlled. The only thing you have control over is how you react to life. So instead of being constantly "triggered" and fighting against the things that life confronts you with, use your energy to keep your thoughts and emotions in check. Life is never against you! It is for you. Don't forget that. 

11. The universe is ALWAYS on your side. It is your best team member. Trust that everything that happens to you happens for you. Trust that only good will come from every situation and experience in your life.

12. Do not wait for others, like your partner, to do things for you that you want to be done. (Unless they promised to do so, in which case, remind them that it's important to you.) If something bothers you, it is up to you to change it.
13. Stop making jokes about others, just to be funny. Being sarcastic and snarky is fun, but it's not nice.

14. Don't try to solve all the problems before starting something. Start, and problems will automatically appear. Once they do, deal with them. Otherwise you will never get anything done.

Writing (or any hobby of yours) isn't supposed to be a professional duty, but a passion that you enjoy! Don't force yourself to do it if you don't feel like it. 

16. Trust is a choice. Choose to trust life. Trust your inner voice. Trust that you know in your heart (not in your head!) what is best for you. Trust your gut feeling.

17. Make decisions. Don't be afraid to make the "wrong" decision. Listen to your inner guidance, and trust in your own ability to make the right decision for you. And if a decision does turn out to be a poor one, then make another decision! You are not stuck only because you chose to go one route. Turn around, and go the other way, if need be!

(If this decision is life-changing, however, such as whether you want to become a mother or not, take your time to make this decision, at least 3 months or more.)

18. You are allowed to look funny, or weird, or be badly dressed. Or have something on your face. It's okay.

19. You are on this planet to experience love, joy, and satisfaction. Abundance and prosperity are your birth right. In fact, they are who you truly are. So have the courage to say no to things that bring you no joy, that frustrate you, or deplete you of your energy. And say yes to things that make you feel alive and full of energy.

20. Enjoy life!!! Eat the things you love and that make you feel good. Soak up the sun. Feel the wind on your skin. Get lost in your favourite book. Dance to your own rhythm. Make love in the most delicious way. Wear beautiful clothes that caress your body. Dare to be loud! Dare to be bright! Dare to be you! You are an expression of life! A child of Mother Earth, a child of the universe.
21. The Law of Attraction works. Focus all your energy on what you aspire in your life, and on all the good things you already have. Trust that the universe will guide you that way. You don't need to worry. You are a magnet that pulls everything you need into your life.

Mindfulness, compassion and gratitude. That's it. That's the key to happiness and abundance.

23. Forgive. Actually, that's almost more important than what I just listed. If you hold on to resentment, you are keeping yourself stuck in the prison of the past. No matter how justified your grudge is, it is your choice to stay in the past, to stay angry, hurt and resentful. By forgiving others – and yourself! – you set yourself free, and let go of the past. Only then will you be able to be happy and fulfilled in the here and now, and create a positive future.

24. Listen to your body. It will always tell you when something is wrong. Whether that's a headache, hair loss, or a serious illness. Don't just treat the symptoms – find out the cause

25. Your body can also help you make the right decisions. Does your body respond to this decision with a dropping of your stomach or a closing off? (That's a no!) Or does it feel like a butterfly-fluttering rise, a yummy opening up? (That's a yes!) Act according to your Yeses and Nos, and you will have a fulfilling life, instead of a frustrating one.

The work you do is allowed to be fun and fulfilling and financially rewarding! Just because other people in your life are stuck in miserable jobs, doesn't mean that's how it's supposed to be. On the contrary.
27. People will perceive and treat you the same way that you perceive and treat yourself. If you think of yourself as unworthy, lame, and weird, others will probably reject and abandon you. If you love and respect yourself, others will treat you with love and respect.

28. Instead of asking yourself what job / activity sounds the most appealing to you (e. g. being a actor), ask yourself what lifestyle sounds most appealing to you, or fits you the best (e. g. living in a big city, possibly Hollywood, lots of travelling, hotel stays, long periods away from home etc.). If you crave being surrounded by nature and animals, and working on your own creative projects at home, being an editor in a publishing house and sitting at a desk for hours on end every day might not be the best way to go ... (*cough*)

29. It's okay to not know your life's purpose. Perhaps it's not as grand as you think, or perhaps you just need more time and more experience to realise what your bigger goal is. Trust that you are on the right path. If something ignites your passion and fills you with energy to take action, chances are you are on the right path :)

30. Prioritize what you want to achieve or change. We usually live by going from one priority to the next, so if you do not prioritize what is important to you (a healthy body, healing your inner child, writing your book, having a fulfilling relationship ...), you will always do other "urgencies" first, and the things you want to achieve or change will not be achieved or changed.

And here's a bonus one 'cause I'm turning 31 after all, and also because it's more of a "what I learned about me and not so much about life":

31. I am a soft natural woman. A Virgo with Sagittarius rising/ascendant and Aquarius moon. A generator with emotional authority in the Human Design System. I am a powerful, soft, wild, natural, sensual, spiritual, driven energetic being – and I love it! (most of the time)

Sending out all my love to you! I know in my heart that you are more beautiful, loving, wiser and brighter than you think. Who do you want to be? What is holding you back?