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     reading time: 6 min



»Is that ... egg custard in that tart?!«

– Aang, Avatar: The Last Airbender, season 1, episode 11


Since I am a huge fan of the animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender, and since it was Imbolc this month – and since my blog is a wild mix of nerdy recipes, Ayurvedic recipes, and pagan festival recipes – we are making Aang's favourite egg custard tart today, vegan version!

This recipe is suitable for an Imbolc feast, but also for any other occasion such as Mother's Day or Easter or Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, or Chinese New Year :)

If you don't know, the egg custard tart from ATLA is a dessert from the Earth Kingdom, and it's apparently Aang's favourite food – though he claims that the best kind are those from the city Omashu, where the crust was made from lychee nuts and with a smooth and silky custard inside, which I'm afraid I can't compete with.

And technically, no, there is no egg custard in that tart because it's veganized and therefore only uses egg-less pudding instead of custard, but oh well. It's still yummy though!

Appropriate reaction to egg custard tarts. (source)


Since the Earth Kingdom is based on China, it is quite likely that this tart is also based on the Chinese egg tart which in turn derived from the English custard tart and Portuguese pastel de nata (yum!) and consists of a round pastry crust filled with egg custard that is then baked in the oven.

So, following these culinary influences, I based my recipe on the layered Hong Kong style tart crust that is made with a water dough layer and a butter dough layer which combined form a flaky crumbly pastry crust that I then filled with a just-sweet-enough creamy vanilla pudding and baked until lightly caramelised on top.

This "egg custard" tart is
egg-free
dairy-free
tofu-free
nut-free
buttery
flaky
crispy
creamy
light
& delicious


AANG'S VEGAN CUSTARD TART

Preparation time: 60 mins + 2 hours refrigeration
Main ingredients: flour, non-dairy milk, vegan butter, coconut oil, vanilla pudding powder
difficulty level: easy
makes: one 10-inch tart (8 servings)
suitable for: vegan, lactose-free, wheat-free, yeast-free

Ingredients:


For the tart crust:

"butter" dough:
1 cup (160 g) spelt flour (type 630)

1/2 cup (75 g) coconut oil, refrigerated to be solid and scoopable

1/2 cup (50 g) vegan unsalted butter or margarine, cold
1/4 tsp salt

water dough:
1 cup (160 g) spelt flour (type 630)
4 tbsp raw cane sugar or brown sugar
1 tbsp vegan
unsalted butter or margarine, cold
1
tsp coconut milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp fresh orange zest
3
–4 tbsp cold water

For the filling:

1 1/2 packages (52 g) vanilla pudding powder
2 cups + 1/3 cup + 2 tbsp (600 ml)
non-dairy milk such as soy milk (don't use oat milk or rice milk!*)
1/2 cup (125 ml) coconut milk
6 tbsp (75 g) raw cane sugar

1
tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp fresh orange zest

pinch of turmeric (optional, for colour)
pinch of
black salt (kala namak) (optional, for that eggy taste)

optional:
granulated or powdered sugar, for dusting
vegan whipped cream
fresh raspberries


* Some plant-based drinks such as many oat milks and rice milks are produced with the help of enzymes called "amylases". Amylases convert starch into several types of sugar, which means that the starch will break down quite quickly – and your pudding will remain liquid. So to achieve a "firm" pudding, it is best to use a soy, nut or coconut milk. I prefer using soy milk as it's the most creamy and rich – and cheap!


Instructions:

For the tart crust:

Prepare the "butter dough" by mixing together flour, solid coconut oil, vegan butter, and salt. I suggest using your clean hands to knead the dough until smooth. Don't worry if the dough feels too flaky or dry at first – after a bit of kneading it should hold together nicely! Form into a flattened disk, wrap in clingfilm or wax paper, and
set aside for 20 minutes. If it's hot where you live, place it in the refrigerator.

Next prepare the "water dough" by adding flour, sugar, vegan butter, coconut milk, vanilla extract, and orange zest to the same mixing bowl you used for the butter dough. Add cold water as needed, about 3 to 4 tbsp. Using your hands, knead everything together until it forms a dough-like paste. This dough will be stringier than the butter dough. Form into a flattened disk, wrap in clingfilm or wax paper, and set aside for 20 minutes. If it's hot where you live, chill it in the fridge.

After 20 minutes, remove both doughs from their wrapping.

Dust your working surface with flour, then place the butter dough on the floured surface. Top with the water dough. Using a floured rolling pin, roll the sandwiched dough layers into a rectangle.

Starting at the short side of the rectangle, fold the dough into thirds. Roll the dough into a rectangular shape again, and fold again in thirds. Repeat at least two more times. Now you should be left with a nicely incorporated smooth, soft dough.

Cover the dough and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

After 15-20 minutes of chilling, prepare the "egg custard" filling.

For the filling:

In a small bowl, stir together the pudding powder and sugar with a few tablespoons of non-dairy milk until dissolved. Bring the rest of the non-dairy milk to a gentle boil in a medium-sized saucepan, along with the coconut milk.

Once it starts boiling, remove the saucepan from the heat and quickly stir in the pudding powder using a whisk, until there are no more lumps. Add vanilla extract, orange zest, a pinch of turmeric and black salt, and whisk again to combine.

Bring to a brief boil again over medium heat, while constantly stirring. Stir stir stir for about 1 or 2 minutes until the mixture starts to thicken, then remove from heat, cover and set aside.

To assemble:


Preheat oven to 350 °F / 180 °C.

Grease and flour a tart pan or spingform pan, or a bunch of tiny tart pans.

On a floured surface, roll out the chilled dough to about
1/4-inch or 6 mm, or according to fit your pan. I used my trusty 26 cm- or 10-inch springform pan, rolling out the dough big enough to also cover the rim.

Carefully lift the dough from the surface and place into the prepared pan. Press the dough evenly against the bottom and sides, making sure that
the edges are raised to form a rim that will be able to hold the filling (about 4 cm / 1.5 inches high). Do your best to avoid trapping any air under the dough – you can also poke some holes with a fork.

Blind-bake the tart crust in the preheated oven for about 10 minutes, placing a similar-sized blind weight on top to prevent rising.

Remove the tart crust from the oven, and remove blind weight. Pour the "egg custard filling" into the pre-baked tart crust.

Return to the oven and allow to bake for about 20–25 minutes, or until the pudding is solidified and lightly golden on top. Keep your eye on the tart while it's in the oven!

Allow to cool slightly before serving. This tart also taste great cold, so you can pack any leftovers on your sky bison for later!

Once the "egg custard" tart has cooled completely, you can store it in an airtight container in the fridge for 2 to 3 days.



NOTES:
- If the "authentic" airbender-way of serving this is too bland for you, whip of some vegan whipping cream and pipe rosettes around the edge of the tart.
Whipped cream and vanilla pudding go together so well!
We actually made this for a friend's 30th birthday so we also added the number 30 made of fresh raspberries on top.
- I can also imagine this tasting great with an addition of wintry spices such as pumpkin pie spice or nutmeg.
- Instead of the "one big tart" look that is featured in ATLA, you can of course go the more traditional route of cutting circles out of the pastry (using a cookie cutter or a measuring cup) and sticking the circles in a bunch of small tart pans or a grease muffin pan. You may have to adjust baking time though.
- If you aren't up to all of the dough kneading and folding, you can also use store-bought puff pastry or an uncooked tart or pie crust instead – although I would definitely suggest making the two-layer Chinese dough.


Looking for more nerdy recipes? Check out some of my fiction-inspired creations:

Legolas' Lembas (vegan)
Mrs. Weasley's Christmas Fudge (vegan)


♥

Maisy

reading time: 1 min




Hello everyone, and welcome to my – new but still same – blog! Over the past two weeks my boyfriend and I have been tweaking the website look (and will continue to do so since it's not quite "perfect" yet – not that it will ever be, haha) and I am so happy to finally, after almost 10 years of blogging, have my own domain with a brand new name!

From Becoming Alice (2013-2020) to Courage, Dear Heart (2020-2022) to, finally ...



Why the name?

Well ... Homestead, Herbs & Healing is a name that has lived in the back of my mind over the past year or so, and has finally come to life now. It is what I envision for my life, my "affirmation" one could say: Homesteading, in the sense of buying a detached house or a farmhouse with a big garden, keeping chickens, growing (more) vegetables and herbs, preserving, fermenting, creating recipes etc. Herbs, in the sense of foraging (more) wild herbs and healing herbs, and using them in various recipes and DIYs, similar to what I've been doing over the past two years here and there on my blog. And finally, Healing, in the sense of self healing, self care, personal growth, again working with herbs, Ayurveda, crystals, etc.

It's an exciting chapter of my life that has already started and now officially gets a name and a place to be shared with the rest of the world – you!

As you can see, I had a lot of fun creating some homestead-y, herb-y, healing-y drawings for the new blog layout, and also playing around with a bunch of new features, such as the hovering effect and the three pretty main category images at the top ☺️

Oh, and you may also have noticed that there are a few "subscription buttons" such as for Instagram, and Pinterest, so feel free to follow me if you like as I am going to post more on there soon!

I hope you'll stick around and join me on this adventure!


♥

Maisy

 reading time: 6 min





Confession time. I've never had my nails professionally done, and to be honest, I neglect my finger nails and toe nails way too often! Not only is looking after our nails an important part of physical self care, but also – our hands are one of the most important features, our business card, so to speak.

I don't have picture-perfect hands and nails (my nails are rather short and wide and they break easily), but it makes a huge difference when I take care of my nails, making them looked "polished" even without polish. During the winter months especially when our skin is exposed to cold temperatures and wind, or when we are frequently washing our hands and using sanitizer, our hands tend to look a bit cracked and dry.

But the good news is that you can easily do a manicure at home! My 7-step at-home manicure that I am about to share with you is great to soothe the skin, clean up your nails, and make you feel more groomed overall.

Here's a quick before-and-after of my nails, from ragged and uneven to clean and tidy:




You Will Need:
 
nail clippers
nail file (I recommend a glass file)
small bowl
small towel
cuticle pusher
cuticle oil or body oil (e. g. jojoba oil, almond oil, olive oil)
hand lotion
body scrub

optional: nail polish remover and cotton pads
optional: nail buffer



1. Remove Old Nail Polish 
 
If your nails aren't clean already, start by taking off any previously applied nail polish. Even if you don't have polish on, you'll still want to wash your hands with soap and water to get rid of any oils or dirt.

Speaking of soap, I recommend using a gentle natural hand soap such as the Dr. Bronner's castile soap, or an organic soap bar to prevent your skin from drying and itching.
 


2. Trim Nails and Remove Hangnails
 
Cut back your nails using nail clippers, leaving them just a tad longer than you want them to be. (If your nails are not super long, you can actually skip this step, and just file them instead!)

Next remove any hangnails around the sides of the nail, being careful not to cut into the nail itself or to cut into the skin too deeply.
Some people recommend cutting away the thickened skin around the nail as well, but I personally find it leaves my fingers looking frayed rather than tidy.

 

3. File and Shape Nails
 
Now that your nails are trimmed to about your desired length, use a nail file to shape them and also round out the sharp edges from clipping your nails – otherwise they might break or split. I recommend using a glass or crystal file as it minimizes splintering and leaves the edges of your nails incredibly smooth. The best way to file your nails is by filing in one direction, instead of going back and forth – this helps to stop nails from breaking as quickly. For example, I always file counter-clockwise, and never the other way around.

Personally I find that a slightly rounded nail shape looks clean, and it also prevents my nails from breaking, as the hard corners of a square edge often do.

This step is optional, but you can also polish your nails in a back and forth motion using a buffing block or buffing file. This will remove any ridges and gives your nails a nice smooth shine that can act as a natural nail polish replacement. Skip this step if you have thin nails.



4. Soften Cuticles

To soften your cuticles and replenish dry skin, place your hands in a small bowl with warm water (not too hot) and 1 to 2 tsp of apple cider vinegar. Allow to soak for 2 to 3 minutes, then pat dry with a small towel. If you have sensitive skin, omit the ACV.

If your skin or nails are especially dry or rough, add a bit of almond oil or raw honey, or about 1/4 cup of coconut milk or almond milk to the warm water. This will help to further soften your nails.

You may even want to add about 5 drops of essential oils to the bowl, for example calming and cleansing lavender EO, anti-bacterial tea tree EO, or antioxidant lemon EO.



5. Push Back Cuticles

Using the rough surface of your towel, a q-tip or an actual cuticle stick, gently push the cuticle back away from the nail to lift from the nail plate. Be careful not to damage your cuticle. Don't forget to clean underneath your nails as well to remove any debris and dirt.

Again, some people recommend nipping off the free edge of the cuticle, but I personally stay away from that as I don't want to damage my skin and risk an infection.

Read more on that here: The Danger of Cutting your Cuticles.



6. Exfoliate Your Hands

If you don't have a body scrub at home, mix 1/2 cup of sugar with 1 tbsp of oil (such as olive oil or melted coconut oil) to make an easy and natural DIY sugar scrub. Add up to 1 tbsp of lemon juice to brighten and strengthen your nails – this also acts as a natural antibacterial and cleanser. You can also add a few drops of essential oil, such as lavender or lemon.
 
Apply the mixture to your hands and gently rub into your hands and nails to remove any dead skin from filing and pushing back the cuticles. Rinse well with warm water after several minutes.

For an even easier scrub, take a fresh lemon wedge and dip the flesh side into some caster sugar (or baking soda if your hands are super chapped). Rub all over your nails and hands in circular motions, then rinse off.

This will make your hands wonderfully smooth and soft, and any products you apply afterwards are absorbed better.



7. Moisturise Your Hands and Cuticles
 
To finish off your at-home manicure, moisturise your newly-softened hands. Massage a few drops of oil into your cuticles and nail beds in circular motions. I recommend using organic jojoba oil, sweet almond oil, olive oil, coconut oil, or shea butter for this. To further intensify the moisturizing effect of the oil, I have these funny little "gloves" for my fingertips that are lined with rubber so that the oil stays on your nails and is basically sealed in. They are definitely not mandatory, though, and I'm not even sure what they're called and if they still exist nowadays, lol!

It's worth oiling your nails every night before going to bed. Not only will this keep your cuticles soft and hydrated, it also prevents them from drying and splitting, and improves overall health and appearance of your nails.

If you want to nourish your hands even  more, slather on a rich hand cream or body lotion all over your hands to hydrate and replenish the skin.
I really love my organic hand lotion by Sante that is made with almond oil and white kaolin clay and that absorbs extra quickly.

While you're at it, take this opportunity to give yourself a nice loving hand massage! Perhaps you might even like to look into the pressure points of hand reflexology. I find this stuff fascinating :)

While massaging your hands, you may want to send them some gratitude – yes, you heard me right! Show your hands some appreciation. Your hands to so much for you. Honestly, think of all the things that your hands help you do each and every day. They really do deserve to be taken care of 🙏🏼

And there you have it! You just gave yourself a great manicure!

featuring *happy nails*


Now if you like, you can proceed to either apply new nail polish, or – what I would recommend – give your nails a break. Allow them to be in their natural state and regenerate. This also helps to prevent and lighten discoloured nails as a result from using nail polish all the time.

Personally, I keep my nails polish-free 99 % of the time, and if I do paint my nails, I stick to a clear, pale pink or nude nail polish.

If you are someone who loves wearing nail polish all the time though, perhaps use your vacation – or stay-cation – to abstain from any nail polish, and let your finger nails and toe nails enjoy the sandy beach and the water, and just breathe. If you aren't going on vacation, but still want to give your nails a break, you can just pretend you're in the ocean by soaking your nails in warm water mixed with epsom salt or sea salt for 10-15 minutes 😁

I hope you enjoyed my easy at-home manicure!


Looking for some more body & self care content? Here are some of my favourites:

At-Home Ayurvedic Oil Massage (Abhyanga)
Minimalist No-Makeup Makeup
DIY Sugaring Wax + How To Use It
DIY Chocolate Mocha Body Scrub


♥

Maisy


 reading time: 13 min





This is going to be a long one.

About 1 1/2 years ago I discovered a lovely, sweet, inspiring feminine Youtuber named Caitlin Ann Huber aka Mrs. Midwest (MMW). Not only is she an inspiringly productive homemaker, who bakes her own bread, sews her own clothes and seems to enjoy the little things in life – she is also relatable, witty, beautiful, eloquent, hard-working, modest, inclusive, and encourages women to unapologetically embrace all things "feminine". Basically, she is a real-life Disney princess.

Or so I thought.


I'll be honest – I used to ADORE Caitlin's content. That was, until I found out that she is (more than likely) a judgemental Christian fundamentalist, white supremacist, self proclaimed anti-feminist, and "red pill trad wife". The term "red pill" as an alt-right expression was new to me, and essentially refers to "waking up" to the "truth" that women and politics are oppressing men and white people. (Yikes!)

If you feel like I'm exaggerating here, let me just list a few examples of significant evidence pointing towards this:

- She follows various accounts on Twitter and Instagram that are white supremacist, white nationalist, misogynist, homophobic, trans-phobic, anti-choice, pro-Trump etc.
- She is repeatedly tagged and featured by white supremacy accounts (and does not protest)
- She follows "European pride" accounts that feature almost exclusively white, blond and blue-eyed women and likes their pictures
- She recommends a video by Stefan Molyneux, a known white supremacist, and writes: "I’m a big fan of this man and his philosophy: it’s brash, offensive, and my favorite type of YouTube content. I love his presentations in particular because they combine culture, history, and philosophy into one amazing learning session."
- She speaks in an interview with open misogynist YogiOabs and agrees that "that cleaning and nesting is more feminine (...) and I do think that it's genetic."
- She admits in said interview to sugar-coat her radical views: "My message can be kind of, like, intense for some people, like, the things I believe, I like to pad it with skin care and how I clean my house."
- About meeting her husbear, I mean husband, she says: "The first thing he asked me was 'Is that your natural hair colour?' And I was like 'Oh my gosh, like, this guy does not care about my, like, feelings.'"
- In a Reddit post about their sex life, she elaborates: "My husband (...) has always put me in my place, refused to put up with my shenanigans, and always put himself into the equation. Needless to say, he's never had to ask for sex once. We're crazy in bed. (...) Don't let her run all over you and control you. She will never find that sexy."
- In another Reddit post she says: "I was completely RP [red pill] and he felt like a winner when he chose me (modest, kind, cooked and cleaned, didn't party, etc.) That's all a guy wants!"
- In terms of weight loss, she has claimed in a Reddit post that "since losing 8lbs, I've noticed a much sweeter attitude from all men I encounter. I seem more delicate to them, and they are protective and polite. Being over 200lbs as a woman seems incredibly unhealthy AND unattractive, visually and mentally. Men look at your appearance to gauge your health, but your appearance also speaks volumes about your character"
- She also recommends "three small things that can make you more feminine immediately: learn how to cook, wear your hair nice ALL the time, and start wearing more colours in your wardrobe. (...) [Cooking] will help you learn how to serve and be gentle, as well as express your creativity. Next, nice hair translates to a woman who can keep herself clean and beautiful. Nothing is more anti-man than a greasy messy bun or flat hair."

If that isn't enough for you, I will go more into why I think that MMW – despite of her sweet, seemingly innocent demeanour – is much more dangerous than outright racist or sexist influencers.

By the way, this blogpost is NOT intended to bash Caitlin or set anyone against her, but merely to do my bit to draw attention to this problem which is the internet influence of Mrs. Midwest, and to perhaps make unsuspecting followers of her aware of her possibly hateful views.

I feel like I need to share my own background story to illustrate how I was caught in Caitlin's "trap" and also
be very transparent about the bubble I live in and therefore how I perceive the world, I guess: So I grew up in a rural area in Germany, as the only daughter of a chemistry PhD student and a Buddhist nursing assistant. My dad's mother, who I share a lot of similarities such as interests, insecurities and values with, was a committed women's rights activist in the 1960s, went to university and got divorced while her children were very young, leaving her a single mother and on the edge of poverty. My mum on the other hand came from a middle class family with 9 children, never really cared too much about wedding and raisin children (I was an "accident", or rather, a nice surprise :), and during the course of her life she was mainly a stay-at-home mum who took on a variety of jobs and trainings, such as for terminal care and massage practice. My parents eventually married when I was about 13. I went to a terribly disciplined elementary school where I was not happy, then we moved and I changed to a Steiner school where I could play out my creativity, had a small but pretty solid group of friends, was bullied for my very curly hair, had a rather curvy body that made me self-conscious and drew unwanted attention to it, came in contact with more mild forms of sexual harassment, went to university to study what I wanted (creative writing and literary studies) with the money my parents had put aside for me.

So yeah, I didn't have a particularly rough childhood and youth, at least not compared to many others.

After studying I worked for several employers for a few years, mostly as an editor, kept feeling very unhappy and not in the right place, then decided to take a year off (that was 2021), living on the money I had made and saved for the past few years, the rest of what my parents had given me, and the financial stability that my boyfriend kindly offered to share with me. In exchange, I offered to take care of all the house cleaning, including cleaning our guinea pigs' cage, taking care of our plants etc. Since we don't have a car and I can't carry  our weekly groceries on my bike all by myself, we do the grocery shopping together, and we also cook together. Mostly because my boyfriend is a better (and more enthusiastic) cook than me, and because cooking is more fun together, and I personally would feel like a servant if I was the only one to prepare and serve the food. But that's just my way of seeing it.

I was always the one to look after our plants anyway, because I'm a crazy plant lady 😜 and I actually really like being in charge of all the cleaning because I am, let's face it, more tidy and orderly than my boyfriend, and I get annoyed when things aren't cleaned in time. So it works out to our mutual satisfaction!

Perhaps I should also add that my boyfriend is not "conventional" or "traditional" in any way, we also don't know for sure if we ever want to have kids of our own or not, if we want to marry or not, etc. And I disagree with what Caitlin said about becoming a homemaker – that you need to seek out a "compatible man" aka someone who is "traditional, conservative, or religious, or a combination of all three of those things" –, but I think that your partner only needs to be agreement with you to share his or her income with you in order to go after your dreams, or for you to stay at home. Whether you then choose to be solely a housewife or a bestselling author or both should not be his or her concern. After all, it is your decision what you want to do with your life!

And yes, I am very, very aware of how privileged and lucky I am for having the luxury to basically "not work".

Not that housekeeping isn't work – it's actually hard labour! – but people who have a job to bring in money also need to keep up with cleaning and cooking, so it's definitely a luxury to be able to solely focus on the home.

I also feel like I need to include that this was actually quite hard for me, because I felt like I was a failure, and not a strong enough woman, being dependent on somebody else's income, and also just pathetic and finicky for not being able to work a 9 to 5 job like everyone else in my surroundings. I felt – and still feel like that sometimes – like I was taking liberties that I wasn't allowed to take because it was unfair. Because everyone else around me worked 40 hours a week to make money. (Although, in all fairness, I kind of sacrificed the making money part for having more time and freedom instead. But that was my choice, and the choice of my boyfriend, so I am not complaining. I know that having this choice in itself is a privilege.)

Being relatively new to "housekeeping" and "homemaking", I was honestly pretty inspired and motivated when I stumbled across MMW during the summer of 2020 when it was already clear that I would stop working as an editor and instead spend my life at home, taking care of our home, focussing on my writing and other creative projects, and figuring out what I want to do with my life, basically. I even included a video of her in my A Few Recommendations | Mid-Year Favorites post in July 2020, to which I have now added a disclaimer about her channel.

By the way, I didn't stop working professionally completely. I continued working as a creative writing teacher at my local university, and I also took on occasional freelance editing jobs that brought in some money. That's how it's going to be for the rest of 2022 as well. This isn't really relevant to anything (other than that I still make a little bit of money and that I have found that self-employment is the only type of professional career that works for me), but I wanted to include this information for full transparency.

But back to Mrs. Midwest.

I knew she was more conservative than me and I was fine with a couple of aspects of her life that I personally didn't resonate with as long as it wasn't offensive or harmful, and I really liked her motivational homemaking vlogs, her message of simple thrifty living and the way she emphasized the value of cultivating "feminine" qualities, because most of my life I had acted more out of my "masculine" energy in the way that I was extremely disciplined, driven, goal-oriented and a bit of a control-freak – which are necessary qualities that can serve you at times, but I felt like I was very unbalanced and not in touch with my feminine qualities, similar to what Sorelle Amore describes in her video on Rebuilding My Life After Losing My Identity. I you are interested, you can read more on that in my blogpost on 12 ways to cultivate and increase your feminine energy.

(While I do not agree with Caitlin's implication that women nowadays are pressured into taking on a career while their "real destiny" is actually becoming a housewife, I do think that there is still a negative stigma around being a stay-at-home mum or housewife – a stigma of being lazy and not actually working although housekeeping and raising children is an equally valuable profession, at least
in my personal experience. And the fact that we live in a patriarchy which is a system built on subordination, exploitation and violence, the fact that there has not been a female president of the United States yet for example, the fact that there is still a gender pay gap – all of that does imply a prevailing oppression of females and feminine qualities, or gender inequality.)

I also saw traditionally "feminine" traits such as emotional vulnerability / sensitivity, gentleness and tenderness as a weakness, and looking back now, I don't think that was a healthy way of living. I also do not strive to be a "solely feminine" woman because I personally believe that humans are all unique blends of masculine (yang) energy and feminine (yin) energy, and I don't see why all women should be "purely feminine", and all men should be "purely masculine". It wasn't and still isn't about that for me. Instead, I just wanted to cultivate and strengthen that feminine part of me that I had been suppressing or at least neglecting for most of my life. I still remember wearing a head-to-toe pink outfit in elementary school and being bullied for it because it was "too girly" and "not cool". From then on, I hated pink and anything "too girly".

It probably doesn't come as a surprise that I have started to feel drawn to the colour pink and other softer "feminine" pastel colours over the past few years. (Not because I am a woman, and pastel colours are the "natural" colour scheme for women, but because that's what is my personal preference.)

So this is basically why I loved Caitlin's videos on how to increase your "femininity", and also her entire personality which was so unlike mine, but that I was somehow craving: sweet, soft, gentle, loving, welcoming ...

All qualities that I had previously not really recognized in myself. My personality is generally more sharp-tongued, quick-witted, sarcastic, goofy, bubbly, determined, stubborn, creative, compassionate, passionate, ambitious, selfish, reflective, impatient, eager, focussed, chaotic and probably a lot more!

And just to be clear: I love all of these qualities. It's just that I felt that I was a little too bossy, a little too eager, a little too snappy, a little too stubborn, a little too impatient, a little too controlling etc. which I didn't really feel comfortable with. And at the same time I felt that I was lacking more "feminine", softer qualities such as patience, empathy, gentleness, love, intuition, harmony, forgiveness, joy – which a part of me was yearning. My "divine feminine" – which is not tied to females by the way, but to all humans, just like the divine masculine!

Long story short: I wanted to be like Mrs. Midwest.

I was truly shocked, disturbed and disappointed, when I found out the underlying internalized  ideologies of MMW that she hid in a very deceivingly sweet way in between skin care and cookie recipes.

And I just want to clarify that there is nothing wrong with being or wanting to be a traditional housewife or homemaker who enjoys taking care of others and your home. There is absolutely nothing wrong with living a frugal, simple life, or a very spiritual, religious life, and there is also nothing wrong with wanting to increase and celebrate your divine feminine qualities.

If that's what fulfils you, you do you – it’s your life!

The reason why MMW's videos are so harmful is because she uses
virtue signalling to shape her audience's beliefs and enforce (unequal) gender roles, which goes hand in hand with an anti-trans world view, toxic masculinity and submissive femininity (e. g. "sex is about pregnancy"). Her way of subtle preaching works in the same way as "dog whistle" politics, using coded buzzwords to convey a hidden message, and is also the reason why I and many other of her viewers did not pick up on any suspicious statements!

It's no wonder that Caitlin knows how to appeal to the masses, after all she studied strategic communications at Calvin College and knows how to use digital marketing tools to appear palatable such as by including BIPoC women when talking about feminine beauty or claiming in nearly every video that everyone and everyone's opinion is welcome (while still emphasising that certain opinions are "foolish" and others are desirable).

It's not easy to admit that, but I think I myself have been influenced with a certain type of bias, both gender bias and race bias, and I am working on becoming more and more self-reflective and self-conscious. When I watched Abigail's video on Mrs. Midwest it definitely opened my eyes in regards to my own race bias, which was kind of disturbing because I wasn't aware of how limited and, well, "white" my own perception is. For example, I wasn't aware that my understanding of being perceived as "feminine" or "masculine" did not take into account that this might not be the case for black women which might face a completely different social prejudice in that regard.

Again, I am not here to hate on Mrs. Midwest. I just want to spread awareness for something that is important to me. And I'm not even sure whether or not Caitlin is aware of what she is doing and what message she is spreading. For example, she often distances herself from "feminist women" – but I don't actually think she necessarily refers to the actual meaning of feminism (gender equality), but confuses it with misandry. Nevertheless ...

If you currently watch and like Mrs. Midwest and consider her a role model – just like I did in the past! – please do your research, and perhaps share this information with others.


Instead of watching Caitlin's content and thereby supporting her underlying racist and sexist ideology, I suggest watching other people that share homemaking content without the problematic polarizing message, such as Rachel Talbott (one of my favourite videos by her is this one about Making Challah, Dinner + Cleaning Garden) or Sarah Therese (such as this Declutter Our Entire House video) [EDIT: after watching her most recent Wife Talk, I am not so sure about her any more]. For wholesome content on femininity, I suggest Hitomi Mochizuki (e. g. her things I do that make me feel like I'll live forever), Jonna Jinton (somehow I really like her How I make paint of earth pigments | Painting tutorial video), Joannas Essentials (it's mostly in German, but she's so wonderful! her Detox Dezember » 10 Tipps für ein natürlicheres & gesundes Leben video is a great place to start), The Unexpected Gypsy (I especially found her video on *afraid to make art? Overcoming the fear of the blank page, get over creative blocks & into the zone helpful) or Alicia Keys (if you can, listen to her entire 21-Day Meditation Experience w/ Alicia Keys and Deepak Chopra: The Divine Feminine). EDIT: I also highly recommend Galatea's videos, such as her ones on The Desecration of Femininity as well as Masculinity, Bad Boys, Love and Humanity (which in my opinion present a very thought-out, very transparent, and very inspiring view on these topics, although I might not agree with her on every single thing she says).

Please let's all remember to question our "role models", and to also question our own beliefs and statements.


By the way, a name twin of Caitlin you should also think about distancing yourself from is Kaetlyn Anne from Girl In Calico or Calico and Twine who has publicly shared homophobic and racist comments. It's a shame really that people like these two women shed such a bad light on (Christian) simple living and homekeeping. Let's change that by setting different examples!


Other informative videos and articles on Mrs. Midwest:
CC Marie
God is Grey

Gabs with Abigail

Jordan and McKay
Fundie Fridays
Jimmy Snow

Feminine Cat Lady Spinster
The Hippie Catholic
Nikky Jackson
A Ray of Dawn



♥

Maisy

 reading time: 6 min




"Lingam" or "linga" is the Sanskrit term for the symbol of the god Shiva and also refers to the masculine center of power, with the phallus being an emblem of the generative power in nature. It translates to something like "mark, sign, distinguishing symbol, characteristic", but also "proof of God's power, evidence of the Divine". The term "lingam" is commonly used to describe the male sexual organs, including the penis, testicles, inner thighs, pubic area, pelvic muscles, perineum, and prostate.

Hello my dudes (and dudettes), today we are making homemade lingam oil for male intimate care 🌵


So far I have only made a few blogposts on the yoni – the female counterpart to the lingam –, such as my most recent yoni oil, and yoni eggs. So today's blogpost is dedicated to the masculine center of energy instead.

To me, taking care of our sexual and procreative organs, and our overall sexuality, is an important part of self care. It doesn't only mean taking care of yourself on the outside, but also allowing for opening up our energy channels for healing, restoring and nourishing.

This scented blend of oils is a wonderful addition to your masculine self care routine that can be used either for your most intimate area, or even as body care in general.

This DIY lingam oil will improve blood circulation in the intimate area, resulting in an increased libido, sexual activity and endurance, as well as a boost of your overall energy
. Due to the anti-bacterial and anti-bacterial properties of the oils we use, this oil will also help keep your genitals clean and healthy in a 100% natural way, with the added bonus of aphrodisiac aromatherapy benefits that will create a sensual atmosphere and set the mood for passion, as well as improve blood flow and stimulate sexual desire.

In addition to anointing your intimate parts, this oil can double as a body oil, moisturising facial serum, beard oil, aphrodisiac massage oil, or as a soothing lotion after shaving that h
elps with cuts, razor bumps, and itching. The oil can also be added to bath water for a luxurious bath. When using this oil as a sexual lubricant, make sure not to use it with condoms as the oils may compromise the efficiency of latex condoms!

BTW: Did you know that men lose about
2.5 mg of zinc every time they ejaculate?

So make sure to consume loads of foods that are high in zinc. Some natural food sources for zinc include
wheat bran, eggs, nuts (best: cashews, pine, almonds, peanuts), lentils, seeds (best: pumpkin, sunflower, hemp, sesame), oats, quinoa, nutritional yeast, garlic, tahini, mushroom, spinach, brown rice, shellfish, dark chocolate, and barley grass. I have a bunch of recipes on my blog that are made with zinc-containing ingredients, such as my Cozy Pumpkin Lentil Dahl, Wild Garlic Nettle Strudel, Lentil No-Meat Loaf, Gluten-free Yeast-Free Superfood Bread, Herbed Garlic Butter, No-Bake Walnut Brownies, Ayurvedic Breakfast Porridge, and Barley Grass Latte.

In case of fear of allergies, please test the lingam oil on another part of your body such as the inside of your elbow before applying to more sensitive skin.


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